What should I do...?
You're fine, Mikuru-chan.
You can go home now.
I'm done with you for today.
Apparently,
that took care of the day's Haruhi-related activities.
Either her negotiating skills...
...or underhanded tactics had yielded an impressive bounty,
with no expenses charged.
In other words, for free.
People used to say that...
...there was nothing more frightening than getting something for free.
The problem was that Haruhi wasn't the least bit scared.
Actually...
If something out there is capable of scaring her,
please get in touch with me.
DAY BY DAY
unzari da yo ne
うんざりだよね
Getting sick of it all
dakara
だから
Which is why
堂々と断っちゃう
doudou to kotowacchau
you should just be yourself
kimi ni narina yo
キミになりなよ
and turn them all down
OH MY BOY
kippari shinakya
キッパリしなきゃ
Gotta be upfront
uso ni
嘘に
Can't keep up
tsukiatterarenai yo
付きあってられないよ
with all of the lies
semai sekai de
狭い世界で
in this small world
jibun de mitsuketa MYSELF
自分で見つけた myself
I managed to find my myself
suki ni natte touzen
好きになって当然
Only natural to like what I see
kudaranai yarikata kette
くだらないやり方蹴って
Give up your silly ways
subete wa atashi ga kimeru!
すべてはあたしが決める！
I'll decide everything myself!
I SAY I SAY MY HEAVEN
SUPER DRIVER
tosshin makasete
突進まかさて
I'm charging in
nantettatte zenshin
なんてったって前進
Don't stop moving forward
fukanou tobikoete
不可能！飛び越えて
Clear the impossible
DON'T
YOU
STOP
ME
TAKE IT EAZY, GO!!
daishouri tte doukan mochiron
大勝利って同感もちろん
A big win will always feel good
dou nattatte kaikan
どうなったって快感
no matter what happens
hanseikai soreyori saa
反省会？それよりさあ
Don't bother looking back
GET
BACK
TO
WILD
isoide yo
急いでよ
Just hurry up
are mo kore mo mitaiken
あれもこれも未体験
Haven't done this or that before
itsu datte muriyari
いつだってムリヤリ
It always feels forced
maru de maru de mikeiken
まるでまるで未経験
Almost like we've never done this before
kore kara shimashou
これからしましょう
Let's give it a whirl
ikkaisen
一回戦
Round one
are mo kore mo mitaiken
あれもこれも未体剣
Haven't done this or that before
FUNKY ROOKIE GAME
itsu datte totsuzen
いつだってトツゼン
It always comes out of the blue
gyakukaiten
逆回転
More backspin
maru de maru de mikeiken
まるでまるで未経験
Almost like we've never done this before
HONKY TONKY HEAD
sore ga doushita no
それがどうしたの
Does it even matter?
The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
What'cha carrying there?
Presents for good little children?
Obviously not.
Model guns?
I never knew you were into that.
Not me.
Haruhi.
Suzumiya, you say?
Well,
it must be rough for you.
That reminds me...
What is it?
Well,
the cultural festival's coming up.
What will you guys be doing this time?
Why are you asking me?
If I ask Suzumiya, she'll just feed me some random nonsense.
If I ask Nagato, she won't give me an answer.
And Asahina-san is too hard to approach.
The other guy just creeps me out for some reason.
So I'm asking you.
Am I supposed to be PR?
Or some kind of nice guy?
I would assume you're the latter.
As far as I'm concerned,
you're the kind of nice guy who'd be willing to...
...knowingly walk off a cliff with someone.
Unthinkable.
I wouldn't tell you now even if I did know.
Hey!
Not an exit!
It was obvious to me...
...that Haruhi's animal trail...
...wasn't leading anywhere good.
However, Haruhi and I...
...weren't the only ones walking this path.
At least three others I knew of were in for the ride.
And while two of them were able to take care of themselves,
Asahina-san wasn't safe on her own!
She was so hopeless...
...at predicting what was about to happen to her that you would never think she was a time traveler.
It's only natural...
...for me to feel that I have to protect her.
The Sigh of Suzumiya Haruhi II
C'mon!
Get these clothes off!
I'll give you a hand!
If you pull that hard...
C'mon!
Come in!
Well?
Well, it's perfect in an odd way!
Almost like the garments of Caean!
Why, hello.
What the hell!?
Well, excuse me.
What do we have here?
That's very becoming on you.
We all know that already!
What we don't know...
...is why a waitress would be in this clubroom when it isn't a café!
That's because...
...Mikuru-chan will be wearing this costume in the movie!
Her usual maid outfit won't work?
'Course not.
A maid's job is to go to some mansion and provide personal service.
It's different for a waitress.
The goal there is to provide assorted services to an unspecified number of customers at some shop.
Either way, neither of those reasons...
...apply to why Asahina-san is in this outfit.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
It's all about feeling.
I like how this feels!
Who cares about you?
How does Asahina-san feel!?
Um...
Th-This seems a little too small for me...
S-So um...
Don't worry!
It's just fine!
It just fits!
No use.
She's been hung out to dry.
In other words,
the concept for our film is this:
As the director representing the SOS Brigade,
I decided to provide quality entertainment!
Just you watch!
Every member of the audience will be on their feet in a standing ovation!
Director
Yuki!
You understand now!
Yes!
That's it!
No idea what that means,
but it appeared to be the costume for her class's fortune telling gig.
That's what I gathered from Nagato's short responses to Haruhi's rapid string of questions.
In any case,
what was she thinking when she walked here from her classroom in that getup?
This costume is perfect for the role I had in mind!
How is it perfect?
Here!
Is...
...this...
Dramatis Personae
Asahina Mikuru - Combat Waitress from the future
Koizumi Itsuki - Boy Esper
Nagato Yuki - Evil Alien
Extras - Passerby
...my fault?
What should I say?
We should expect no less?
Indeed, the casting seems quite appropriate for Suzumiya-san.
It's wonderful.
Don't smile at me.
I'll petrify.
My bad.
So, Kyon...
Have those guns ready for use within the day.
Filming starts tomorrow!
You also need to learn how to use the camera!
I see no problems of consequence.
Has she ever done anything that wasn't a problem?
I fail to see the humor in this situation.
Well,
while these circumstances may not invite humor,
there's no need for pessimism.
How do you know?
For the simple reason that this is merely the cast for a movie.
Suzumiya-san does not actually believe that I am a boy esper.
I only play...
...the role of a boy esper...
...named Koizumi Itsuki...
...within the fictional context of this movie.
Nobody would confuse a character in a movie...
...with the actor playing the role, right?
Even if some people did,
Suzumiya-san would not be one of them.
That's not very reassuring.
There's no guarantee that what you're saying is right.
If she were for mixing reality and fiction,
then our world would have become the stuff of fantasy long ago.
As I mentioned before,
Suzumiya-san is still...
...a person who can think rationally.
I know that.
But since Haruhi's rational reasoning is half-possessed,
I've been dragged into many bizarre events.
Chief
And Haruhi doesn't even have a clue.
For we must not allow Suzumiya-san to discover any evidence of what's happening.
There may come a time...
...when we have no choice but to reveal the truth.
But not now.
Fortunately,
Asahina-san's faction and Nagato-san's faction are of the same opinion.
Though, I would prefer the current situation never change.
So would I.
I don't want to watch the world turn into a huge mess.
You should worry less about the world...
...and be more concerned about your own safety.
Nagato-san and I can probably be replaced,
but you have no understudy.
For the Cultural Festival
Practice File
SUMMER CLASSIC FOR 180 YEN
YAKISOBA
Meh.
Who gives a rat's ass about a cultural festival?
Pisses me off.
Why?
It really annoys me...
...when other people are having fun and I'm not.
Especially if it's a boy-girl couple!
Gives me homicidal urges.
That would be called jealous resentment!
And what's with our class?
A survey?
Boring.
Then why didn't you throw out your brilliant idea?
That might have prevented Haruhi from mentioning anything about movies.
Not happening.
I don't want to end up being put in charge of the whole mess.
That's true.
If only Asakura-san were still here.
That was a waste.
Just had to be my AA+ who up and left.
Wonder if they'll let me change classes at this point.
Which class would you want?
Nagato-san's class?
Speaking of which, I saw her walking around in some kind of wizard getup yesterday.
What's up with that?
Beats me.
I sure don't know.
Yeah, when was that again?
The time you and Nagato were all tangled up in the classroom.
No, that was...
I know.
It was one of those, right?
Something scripted by Suzumiya, right?
I was feeling rather relieved that he'd gone off and misunderstood the whole affair.
The plan was to fool me, right?
You had me going for a while there.
Thanks, Taniguchi.
Your idiocy could save this world.
At any rate, this sure is boring.
Okay, everybody!
Let's head to the filming location!
That came out of nowhere.
I was looking for a good spot around school,
but I guess we won't be able to shoot it around here.
Mikuru-chan!
Get ready!
A-Am I going, too?
Of course.
We can't do anything without the star.
B-But...
In these clothes?
That's right.
A-At least let me wear something over it!
No.
It's only embarrassing if you let yourself feel that way!
You'll never win a Golden Globe like that!
Weren't we trying to win first place in the cultural festival's best event poll?
And Yuki.
Here.
Take this.
I'll change your character to an evil alien magician!
And she already changed the script.
Well, Nagato definitely possesses magic-like powers.
Come on, Kyon!
Get the camera ready!
Okay!
Let's head out!
Director
Super
Director
Super
Director
Super
Every one of us!
Director
Super
Director
Super
Director
Super
Director
Super
Director
Super
Looks like she's serious.
What's that!?
Hey, Haruhi!
You're going to have the two of them get on the train dressed like this?
Something wrong with that?
Absolutely!
Why?
You might get arrested if you're running around without anything on,
but they're fully dressed.
What?
You'd prefer a bunny girl?
You should have told me earlier, then.
Not sure you should be saying that after going through the trouble of finding a waitress costume...
And didn't you say that this was the concept for the movie?
The most important thing is your ability to adapt to the situation.
That's how life on Earth was able to evolve.
If you aren't careful, you'll end up eliminated through natural selection.
If the environment had a mind of its own, Haruhi would be the first one ejected out of the atmosphere.
The train's here!
Come on, Mikuru-chan!
Walk fast!
We came as promised!
Yes.
Thanks for coming.
The girl from two days ago.
I didn't recognize her.
Then, I'll leave it to you.
Roger that!
Okay, everybody.
We're gonna have a meeting, so gather 'round.
We will now...
...begin shooting the commercial!
What?
Ohmori Electronics
Th-Th-
This store has a very friendly owner...
And he's a nice guy.
Um...
This store has been around since it was owned by the grandfather of the current owner, Eijirou-san!
They carry everything...
...from batteries to refrigerators!
Um...
Also...
Anyway, please visit Ohmori Electronics!
And cut!
There isn't any emotion.
I'm not sure why I can't feel the vibes...
Mama, what's that?
Sh, don't look at them.
I've got it!
Could you please stop having these revelations?
It's odd for a waitress to be at an electronics store!
That's your concern?
Koizumi-kun!
Hand me the small bag!
Yes.
"I'll stick a commercial for this store in the movie, so give me a video camera."
"Sure thing."
That would probably be a five-second summary of Haruhi's conversation with the owner two days ago.
Mikuru-chan!
Come here!
Good grief.
I won't be making much of an appearance at this rate.
You see, I'm actually also acting...
...in our class play.
I'm struggling to memorize my lines.
Oh, really.
I would prefer a role in this film with a minimal number of lines...
Well?
Why don't you have a go at the lead role?
Haruhi holds all the authority as far as casting goes.
Direct your request to her.
Do you believe me capable of such an incredible task?
After all, it's an order from Suzumiya-san.
I don't even want to imagine the sort of chastisement she would deliver...
...if I were to disobey her.
Neither do I.
Isn't that why I'm her cameraman?
Sorry for the wait!
The nostalgic original Asahina Mikuru costume!
The perfect flawless bunny girl!
So cute!
It's already been six months.
Thinking back, a lot has happened...
They're all such fond memories now...
Like hell they are!
Absolutely perfect!
I guess a bunny girl really is best for promoting merchandise.
Okay!
Do it over from the top!
Kyon, get the camera ready!
And take two!
And so...
The electronics store commercial was finally over.
But now,
you have to remember that...
...we'd visited another sponsor.
Yamatsuchi
Model Shop
Kondo's Traditional Clothing
Okay.
Now, Mikuru-chan...
Do it the way you did before!
Nothing wrong with that.
Everything was wrong with that!
And...
Action!
Yamatsuchi
Model Shop
Th-This model shop was apparently opened last year...
...after Yamatsuchi Keiji 28, escaped his life as a white-collar worker!
It coincided with his hobby, so he just went for it!
S-Sure enough, he hasn't experienced the sales growth he'd like...
Um...
Growth for this year's first quarter is about eighty percent of what it was last year, apparently,
so everyone, be sure to stop by!
You want me to hold it?
Y-You mustn't fire this at people!
Settle for shooting empty cans or something!
You want me to shoot?
And cut!
Today's filming wasn't too bad.
We'll finally start shooting the movie tomorrow!
The commercials already ate up fifteen minutes.
How long is the actual movie?
We'll just shoot as much as we can...
...and edit it afterwards.
It's a piece of cake to edit stuff on the computer these days.
And who's in charge of that piece of cake?
I have a feeling the word "editing" had been included in my list of duties.
Tomorrow's Saturday and we have the day off,
so we're meeting up in the morning.
Be in front of Kitaguchi Station at nine.
Hey, Haruhi.
Can't we do something about Asahina-san's outfit?
There's gotta be a costume that looks more like something she could actually fight in.
Like a plug suit or stealth camouflage.
That would kill the surprise when she starts fighting!
A waitress doing the fighting gets you the "Wow" factor!
Grabbing the audience's attention is key!
It's all about concept!
Concept!
Does she even know what "concept" means?
Yeah, I guess that works,
but what's the point in making her come from the future?
Ah, well... You know...
I mean, would it really matter if she wasn't a time traveler?
It's fine.
You just have to come up with an answer when somebody brings it up.
If you can't come up with an answer, just ignore them.
It's all good if it's entertaining.
Only if it's entertaining!
There's no point in something that only entertains the director!
Are you aiming for a Golden Raspberry in the amateur category?
What's that?
I'm only after one thing.
First place in the cultural festival's best event poll!
And if possible, a Golden Globe.
Start by showing us a script, then.
How's it coming along?
Don't worry.
Everything's in here.
The script and storyboard are all worked out!
You don't have to do any thinking at all.
Strong words...
You're the one who should refrain from thinking...
...and stare out the window.
If you had a more reasonable expression on your face,
you could trade places with Asahina-san.
What?
Nothing.
Okay, everyone!
Get psyched up!
The first step to winning glory is spiritual fortitude!
Once your soul breaks free of its worldly bonds,
latent abilities you never knew about will awaken...
...and release incredible power!
We aren't in some fighting comic where the tables are suddenly turned.
A balloon!
The next day.
We would once again find ourselves caught up in some bizarre business.
Seriously...
I'm at a loss for words.
What was it that Haruhi said, again?
Mum, where's that balloon going?
Once your soul breaks free of its worldly bonds,
latent abilities you never knew about will awaken...
Huh? Huh?
Well, it's going somewhere far away.
...and release incredible power, or something like that?
Still, Haruhi.
Somewhere far away?
Why did you have to be the one to experience that awakening?
And without you even realizing it.
You're late!
It isn't nine o'clock yet.
You were still the last one to show up!
Your fine is to buy us lunch!
Yeah, yeah...
Well...
I'll cover the bus fare.
Call it a necessary expense.
Thanks a lot.
That's right!
I have to put this on!
Why are you wearing your uniform?
I was told to do so yesterday.
My role will be that of...
...an esper disguised as an ordinary high school student.
Isn't that exactly what you are?
That should do it!
Okay!
The bus stop is this way.
Director
Ultra
C'mon!
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Kyon, hurry up!
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
Director
Ultra
After thirty minutes of bumpy bus-riding,
and another thirty minutes of hiking,
we reached a place that nobody in their right mind would ever visit.
Hot... So hot...
Um...
Would you like a drink?
If you don't mind that I already drank from it...
Already drank...
Pardon me.
Save it for later.
Later.
And Mikuru-chan!
Now isn't the time to be watering the help!
Come on!
Let's get the camera rolling!
Get changed!
Um...
It's fine!
Nobody will come if you go far enough back!
Already drank...
Don't peek.
Yes, yes.
Ta-da!
A color contact!
It's pretty important to have the left eye be a different color.
That's all it takes to give her that mysterious feel!
Well, it's just a symbol of sorts.
And there's a secret in this blue eye.
Well, yeah.
Wouldn't be much of a story if her eyes were different colors for no reason.
So?
What's the secret?
That's still a secret!
Hey, Mikuru-chan!
Don't go all limp on us!
C'mon, Mikuru-chan!
Don't be so shy!
You just need to become your role!
Okay!
Another run.
This is apparently the commemorative opening scene.
I was expecting her to at least write a script,
but Haruhi said flat-out that no such thing existed.
It would be bad if I put everything on paper and it got leaked.
That was her reasoning.
When did this turn into a Hong Kong film?
Okay!
Now do it the way you did the third time!
We're doing Mikuru-chan and Yuki's battle scene next.
Mikuru-chan!
Unload like crazy on Yuki!
But I'm not supposed to fire these at people...
It's fine!
With your aim, you won't hit her anyway.
It won't matter if you hit her,
since Yuki can dodge it.
Fine.
Shoot.
See!
She says it's fine!
Fire away!
And just a heads-up...
You don't fire both at the same time.
You alternate between them.
That's the basic principle of dual-wielding pistols!
That should do it.
Hey, Haruhi.
How is this a movie?
I have no idea what the story is about.
That's fine.
I planned on having a lot of cut-and-paste work done during the editing phase anyway.
Who's going to be doing that cut-and-paste work?
You could at least put in some lines.
It's fine!
We can just remove the noise and dub over later if we have to,
since we're going to have to add sound effects and background music, anyway.
There's no need to think too much about it at this point.
Well, yeah.
Considering that the story's only in your head,
there's nothing for us to think about.
sora kara ochitekitanda
空から落ちてきたんだ
It fell from the sky,
subete no negai wo nosete
全ての願いを乗せて
carrying everybody's wishes.
hitotsu no hoshi ni wa chotto
ひとつの星にはちょっと
I suppose it was too big a load...
omokatta kana?
重かったかな
...for a single shooting star?
yappari nani ka hen da yo
やっぱり何かヘンだよ
Something's wrong here,
kokoro no kimi ga
心のキミが
as you've vanished...
kieta
消えた
...from my heart.
tashika ni oboeterutte
確かに憶えてるって
Can you truly say that...
ieru no kai?
言えるのかい
...you still remember?
tomare!
止マレ
Stop right there!
kako wa jibun no mono
過去は自分のもの
The past belongs to yourself.
touzen
当然
Naturally...
dare to mo torikaetakunai
誰とも取り替えたくない
I would never trade mine away.
naze nara...
なぜなら...
That is because...
BA-SUDEI datta watashi-tachi ni wa
バースデイだった 私達には
It was a birthday for us.
deai ga umareta toki ni
出会いが生まれたときに
The moment we met...
hajimete no yume ga mieru
初めての夢が見える
...was when I first began to dream.
dou shiyou ka tte nayanda koto mo
どうしようかって 悩んだ事も
Looking back now, we can all laugh about...
ima omoeba waraeru hodo nanda yo ne
いま思えば笑えるほどだったよね
...the times we spent worrying about what to do.
mou wasureteta
もう忘れてた
I've already forgotten.
kimi wo sagasou
キミを探そう
I'll look for you.